"A passionate fan of various elements of geek culture (e.g. sci-fi, comics, Star Wars, video games, anime, hobbits, Magic: the Gathering etc.), but who lets his passion override social graces."

I don’t have a huge problem with fanboys. I kind of see them like I see certain religious groups; they can go do their thing if they want to as long as it’s someplace away from me, but once they start forcing their loopy logic on me, I’m gonna get pissed off. Happily it’s quite easy to avoid both of these types if you want to. Still, it’s a little depressing to see a site with a cool concept like N4G and its ’social news’ become overrun by fanboys. Contrastingly, it would be pretty entertaining to see N4G teeming with religious fanatics. I’d pay to see the flame war between console fanboys and religious extremists.

I happen to think that console fanboys appear less on British gaming sites than American ones, but I suspect that could just be more of the patriotic bias this column is generating a reputation for. Anyway, if it is true, it’s probably got more to do with gaming being a much bigger deal over in the US rather than us Brits having any greater sense of decorum. That saddens me a little because I always had this idea in my head about what a refined British fanboy would be like: 

HUGH: Stephen, my good man, are you honestly declaring Killzone 2 to be the quintessential experience for the modern-day gaming gentleman? You, sir, should get your man to send my man some of the product you’ve been smoking! Utter codswallop! 
STEPHEN: Dear fellow, I wouldn’t expect a philistine such as you to know the difference between a majestic masterpiece like Killzone 2 and your homely wife’s misshapen rump. 
HUGH: How dare you, sir! I’ll have you know that Jennifer’s bottom is...

Enter Charles, his brow free of the furrows found on those of his peers. He sits in front of the television and picks up a nearby Wiimote.

HUGH: Charlie... what are you doing? 
CHARLES: Oh, just playing this splendid Boom Blox game. Care to join me, chaps? 
HUGH: (after a pause) I despise you, Charles.

That’s the strange thing about fanboys: no matter how loud they shout and how many toys they throw out of the pram, nothing’s really going to change in the console wars. Yet they still do it! Surely they must know that the Wii is completely out of reach, and that the masses buying it aren’t going to stop doing so because of some vitriolic post on NeoGAF declaring them to not be ’proper gamers.’ It’s also obvious that no matter how many Japanese RPGs it throws at the market, the 360’s fate in the Land of the Rising Sun is pretty damn solidified. Similarly, outside of the Wii, the US has thrown home support behind Microsoft and it’s going to take a minor miracle for the PS3 to claw back the almighty deficit over there. Maybe the fanboys should start focusing on the one neutral party in all of this that really matters – me. Well, me and the rest of my European brethren.