The 5 Worst Things About Gamestop

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Let’s face it; Gamestop has become a necessary evil nowadays. The mom and pop gaming joints have been crushed under the corporate boots of Gamestop and Blockbuster. Gamestop has essentially monopolized the used game trade, and gamers have little other choice but to bow down to the corporate altar. Whenever the suits get involved, you can expect a shiny but soulless experience. Here is a rundown of the 5 most annoying things gamers deal with every time they visit their local Gamestop.

Idiot Employees
Obviously, $5.75 an hour just doesn’t get you as much as it used to back in the good old days. When they aren’t trying to cram a pre-order down your throat, these Walmart rejects provide little assistance in actually finding games. In a recent trip to find a lesser known Gamecube title called “Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem,” my query about the game to the Gamestop employee was met with “Why do you want a Gamecube game?” Apparently, it was unbelievable to this emo haircut wearing, acne riddled superstar employee why anyone would want a game that wasn’t a new release. Don’t even ask me how many times I had to spell “Requiem” for him.

Mandatory “Sups”
Despite being deficient in intelligence and motivation, Gamestop employees aren’t annoying all by themselves. They have plenty of help from the Armani suit wearing douchebags in corporate. Gamestop employees don’t say hello to you when you walk in the store because they are nice guys. The mandatory greetings are obviously corporate policy. I have been greeted with everything from “Sup bro” to the infamous “Yo dog.” Forcing me into awkward conversation isn’t going to make me buy more games. I don’t want to give “dap” or chest bump anyone just to get in the store. Just let me buy my games in peace…bro.

The “Pokemon Kid”

If you have been to a Gamestop in the past decade, you have undoubtedly encountered this kid. The “Pokemon Kid” is famous for making the Gamestop employee pull every Pokemon game released for all platforms (all 3,485 of them) and asking hard-hitting questions like “Is this game fun?” Let me take a quick moment to clear this up for the kid. The new Pokemon game is about as moderately fun as the past 100 were. They crank essentially the same game over and over because they know you want to get your grubby, marker stained little hands on everything Pokemon related. This isn’t just specific to Pokemon franchise, all anime related games are equally at fault here. If you have ever been behind the “Pokemon Kid” in line, you know that you are in for at least a 5 minute negotiation between the kid and his mom on exactly what he can buy and how he has to eat his vegetables if he wants to play the game.

Used Games for $54.99
The 5 bucks off phenomenon usually applies to the anticipated titles that have been traded-in within around a month of the original release date. I understand the game is still technically a “new” release and it isn’t Gamestop’s fault some moron decided to trade in Halo 3 because he needed crack money, but it is still a used game. Gamers know that nothing devalues faster than video games. Upon leaving Gamestop, your new game is worth roughly half of what you paid for it. How is it possible then for a used game to be sold at 500 pennies less than a new copy? The answer: it’s just how “the man” rolls. For my money, I will pay the extra 5 bucks so I don’t have to deal with a scratched up game and booklet pages stuck together by a mystery substance.

The “Comment Guy”
These guys only crawl from their mom’s basements to travel two places: Taco Bell and Gamestop. You can recognize him by his muffin top appearance and generally pasty skin. This is the guy that just can’t resist making a comment on every game that people are looking at in the store. His comments range from supportive to condescending, but they are always irritating. The “comment guy” will stand next to you in an aisle while you are holding a title and say things like “That’s a great game.” or “The first one was better.” These unsolicited comments can even venture off to his Halo multiplayer stories or the dreaded “achievement stories.” Pretending that he works for Game Informer, the “comment guy” can always be counted on to give a synopsis of any title, as well as, his personal idiotic impressions. The “comment guy” can usually be found standing by the checkout line. He technically isn’t in line because he is unemployed and his mom wouldn’t give him twenty bucks, but his strategic “by the line” position gives him the best vantage point to comment on everyone’s purchase and chat up the blankly staring Gamestop employees.

It is not humanly possible to list all of the annoying aspects about Gamestop, and this list is far from complete. The list would have been longer except I have to go trade in some games. What makes your list?

Contact this writer at: jeremy@thegamereviews.com

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