As if being an anthropomorphic, pink hedgehog wasn’t enough, Amy is Sonic’s stalker of a "girlfriend." It seems her life’s goal is to stay by Sonic’s side through thick and thin, blah blah blah. Though she is a playable character in many of the Sonic games, she’s rarely found to be useful. Similar in personality to Princess Peach, Talim, and all the other innocent female characters, the only time she’s really angry is when her relationship with Sonic is threatened. In that, she’s like that girl who changed her ringtone so it would match yours exactly, and Googled all of your interests so that it would appear you both had a "connection." Of course, it just doesn’t compute for this ditzy hedgehog that Sonic’s not interested. Plus, he already has Tails. Duh.

Princess Daisy is little more than a palette-swap of Peach. For that reason alone, I find her sickeningly obnoxious. She has no real personality. She’s rumored to be madly in love with Luigi. If I were Peach, I’d get a restraining order on this harlot for trying to steal my life, because there are just too many coincidences. Also, what good has Daisy ever done for Mario and the gang? Oh, she was kidnapped in Super Mario Land. How awesome. At least Princess Toadstool has had the presence of mind to thwart many of Bowser’s plans, and can semi-defend herself. Get a life of your own, Daisy.

"LEOOOOON!"

The way Ashley screams Leon’s name so often, you’d think something was going on besides the normal events of a survival horror title. Not the case. Ashley’s just completely incompetent. Not only are you protecting her whiny, snarky little behind, but when you’re forced to play as her, you’re basically defenseless, as the spoiled little president’s daughter can’t do much in the way of fighting. You could be cruising along doing extremely well in the game, and then out of nowhere, "HELP ME LEON!" and you know your success is about to come crashing down. So help me, if I can’t shoot the Ganado that’s carrying her away, it’s game ov-- damn.