Hollywood is About to Ruin Your Favorite Video Game

Let’s face it; film adaptations of video games are generally terrible. Hollywood has a long reputation of turning excellent video games into mediocre to horrible movies (See: Super Mario Brothers, Mortal Combat, Doom, etc.). With the recent release of the commercially successful but critically panned “Resident Evil: Extinction,” it doesn’t appear that this trend is reversing itself any time soon. The most frustrating aspect of these poor game-to-film translations is that video game based movies do not have to be awful. Video games provide amazingly deep and complex story lines and tremendous action sequences, yet little to none of this translates to the big screen. The problem lies in the fact that Hollywood appears to have an inherent lack of respect for the validity of these games as art (Talking to you Mr. Ebert). The suits just see dollars. The thought process seems to be if a video game is met with commercial success, then why not slap together an incoherent movie and give Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson a call to see if he is available. The problem also lies with gamers. Every time Hollywood releases another game based movie, gamers flock to the theaters to pay $10 for another piece of theatrical garbage (stop salivating over Hitman already guys). If movie studios keep making money from terrible movies because of an installed fan base, then they are going to keep making bad movies. Here is a list of video game based movies currently in development that most likely will be stinking up theaters for years to come.

Alice (2008)
Alone in the Dark II (2009)
Area 51 (2009)
Assassin’s Creed (TBA)
Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars (2009)
Castlevania (Late 2008 or Early 2009)
Citizen Siege (2009)
City of Heroes (2010)
Clannad (2007)
Clock Tower (2008)
Cold Fear (2008)
Death, Jr. (TBA)
Devil May Cry (2010)
Doom 2 (TBA)
Driver (2008)
EverQuest (TBA)
Far Cry (2008)
Fear Effect (2008)
Gears of War (2009)
God of War (TBA)
Halo (2009)
Hitman (2007)
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008)

(We’re only halfway through. Continued next page.)
Kameo (2007)
Kane & Lynch (2009)
Max Payne (2007)
MechWarrior (TBA)
Metal Gear Solid (2009)
Mortal Kombat: Devastation (2010)
Ninja Gold (2010)
Onimusha (2009)
Postal (2007)
The Sands of Time (2009)
Rainbow Six (2010)
Silent Hill 2 (2008)
Siren (2009)
Soulcalibur (2007)
Splinter Cell (2010)
Spy Hunter (2009)
Stranglehold (TBA)
Street Fighter (2008)
Tekken (2009)
The Neverhood (2009)
The Sims (2009)
The Suffering (2009)
The Unforgettable (2008)
Tomb Raider III (TBA)
World of Warcraft (2009)

Whew, looks like video game fans are going to be in the theaters a lot over the next three years. It’s time to face a hard truth gamers, Hollywood doesn’t care that you hate these movies. The suits don’t care that you flamed their film on a forum or ripped the movie on your crappy blog. Why don’t they care? Because at the end of the day, they still got your money…cha-ching.

Conact this writer at: jeremy@myarcadeplanet.com

Author: TGRStaff

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